It’s been months since I’ve written, here or on paper. I have running thoughts, and I always want to write. But writing in peace on a table is a luxury for me right now, and I have had some other priorities in my life. But when the urge to discuss, to spill the emotions to whoever will listen, to expel the mental congestion and the whirling in the chest, the pen and paper are where I like to go.
And so, even though this is a food blog, today I’m writing about Newtown and its people. Sandy Hook and its teachers, like Lauren, whose funeral is today. The parents of those 20 kids and those precious ever-so-little children. Benjamin, Emilie, and the other ones whose names have stuck in my head. I refuse to talk about the shooter. He’s had enough coverage. I will remember Victoria Soto’s name forever. That day and this Christmas, I won’t forget. I’m also writing about the 23 year old Delhi medical student who lies in a hospital today fighting for her life, her internal organs permanently damaged from the brutality of something I can’t even bear to type the words. Therein lies more hate. Misogyny. And of course in the background is always the never-ending religious fervor in the world leading to violence. Your hate is despicable. But I won’t hate your hate. Because I won’t ever be like you.
A message for the evil-doers in this world: You have made me fear guns even more. You have made me see more hate and above all fear the hate in this world. You have made me look at the clock every day since last Friday, more and more relieved as the hands go toward the afternoon hours, eager to pick up my child at 2:45pm. But what I know is this: you have made me have a fiercer love than ever before. And that fierce love multiplied by hundreds of thousands, no millions of people around the world have already overcome the fear. Love conquers fear. So you will never get us.